Recently I’ve been doing a bit of pondering about dealing with resistance. That sort of resistance you may encounter when you know you want to do something, as opposed to thinking you ‘should’ do it, but something keeps holding you back.
Fear. Fear of failing, stuffing it up. Letting somebody down.
Being ashamed. Feeling vulnerable.
It might be a small or relatively easy task but the feelings can be large and powerful.
I’ve been putting off re-establishing my herb garden for too long (see how I’m judging myself already).
It was too much work and I was too tired.
It wasn’t that important – I had a few herbs on the windowsill.
I want to grow vegetables so I should do that first.
I had to fix so many other things before I could do the actual planting.
The *@$&ing possums would eat it anyway!
I wouldn’t look after it properly and it would be a waste of time and money.
Excuses. Fear. Resistance.
This area of the garden used to be lovely but it has been barren for a few years, a dumping ground while boring but essential plumbing work has been going on. I had bought on a whim a couple of climbing plants and later decided to grow them up the lattice that borders the herb garden. Had I planted them…? No. Another thing to chastise myself about.
Did I really want to create this garden? Why was it important to me?
After sitting with these thoughts for a while, I decided that letting go of the outcome might help. Lean in and focus on the process. I enjoy gardening for the hands in the dirt itself, not just the end result.
Next, enlist some help. A well-chosen collaborator can make a big difference as they don’t buy into the resistance in your head, only the intention in your heart.
Now, thanks to my mum and my step-dad supporting and helping me, I have my herb garden back.
I have mint and parsley for green smoothies and soups.
Rosemary and thyme for slow cooked meats and vegetables.
Basil and oregano for fresh tomatoes and Mediterranean dishes.
It makes my heart sing when I can dash outside to pick leaves and pop them straight into my cooking. And when I glance my garden from inside or gaze at it from the back verandah. I feel like I’m creating something in our space, not just consuming. I feel more connected with nature.
The possums haven’t touched it… yet… But don’t speak to me about what they’re doing to my roses and silver birch tree! Grrr…
Do you have anything on your to do list that you’re feeling resistant about?
How do you overcome those feelings?